I found this poem right after Little Buddy was diagnosed. It hit me so hard. We had planned for something completely different. We didn't have a clue what we were actually getting into. He was 15 months old and he was receiving: Occupational Therapy, Floor Time Therapy, and Speech Therapy. I was working part time and caring for him full time, again with no sleep.
It was hard most days. He screamed when he wasn't ignoring me. He would bang his head constantly, so I followed him around the house to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself. He never noticed me coming into a room or leaving the room. He was not aware that we were trying to play with him. He was a loving child though. I've met a lot of parents who have children with Autism and they don't even want to be touched. He didn't mind sitting in my lap and sometimes even snuggling.
I didn't have a whole lot of people to talk to either. No one really understood. I had lost a lot of friends over him, because they didn't understand why he acted that way when I went out. I found myself constantly telling people that he was Autistic and what that meant, I mean even the grocery store clerk (lol). You don't know what lonely is until you feel like you are the only one going through it.
I remember telling my family if they couldn't treat him like any other child in the family then they were not allowed to come near us. This was not a disability and we were not going to treat it as one. This was something that needed some special care in certain areas, but overall he was to be treated the same. I remember telling my dad, he cried. I told my mother and she said that she would be there for support when I needed her. (She had raised my brother who was diagnosed with CP.) I am sure some of the other members of my family cried or was angry for me, but I have had the best support from all of them.
Little Buddy turned two and shortly after we went to go see a Developmental Pediatrician. He diagnosed him with Autism on the spot. He had so many characteristics that it didn't take long for the Doctor to see them. I was somewhat relieved again.
I will say that I never minded taking Little Buddy to the Doctors and so on. I could sit there and hear everything they said without being sad or angry. What bothered me the most was reading the reports they would write afterwards. To this day I still cannot stand to read them. It makes it so much more real. It's right there in black and white. I can't change what is said. I just have to sit there and take it. I usually read these when I am alone. I don't want him to see me crying because he has a huge heart and he is very apathetic.
Some of the things we were going through at this moment:
1. He wouldn't touch anything. He would put 2 pairs of socks on his hands and 2 pairs on his feet and take off his clothes, (diaper stayed on ~noy an option). He didn't want anything to touch him and he wasn't going to touch anything either!
2. He was still non-verbal. He would only grunt and scream. This was the only way that he communicated.
3. He was still very picky about eating. We started giving him Carnation Breakfast because most days he didn't want any food. (sensory)
4. By the time he was about 2 1/2 we put him in a special school. I was working part time to help pay for this and they knew how to care for him a little better than a regular daycare.
5. We noticed that he did not maintian eye contact at all and we started working on this! He would need to look at us if he wanted something.
6. I fiqured out he was scared of stickers. I went home and tickled him with tape wrapped on my fingers. He now LOVES tape (can go through a roll in one day) and stickers.
7. We taught him how to pop bubbles! You may be sitting there thinking this can't be hard, evey child loves bubbles, but mine did not. You may also think that this was an easy task, but it isn't for the child that refuses to touch anything!
I am sure there was way more than this...but these were the first to come to mind.
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